Halloween Raid Train MadLibs

I had the pleasure of taking part in @BooksBrewsAndBooze's Halloween raid train on Twitch today. For my stream I decided to make some of my own spoopy MadLibs to fill in with chat. Below are the results of that adventure. Words underlined are the words that chat chose. I hope you enjoy these silly little spoopy stories and Happy Halloween.

(If you want to watch the madness unfold, you can watch the stream VOD on Twitch or YouTube.)

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The Night Collector

The night was eerily quiet except for the creaking of corpses in the wind. The moon was full and bright burple. Everything was asleep at this hour. Or at least it should be…

One lone figure flopped down the otherwise deserted street. They were smelly and disillusioned; both of this world and not at the same time. Anyone who saw them would freeze, unsure how to respond to this apparition.

In the light of the burple moon they haunt the sleeping streets. They always start at the bowling alley and end at the comic book store. When they reach the comic book store they pick up a spider and then they return to the bowling alley. No one knows why they do this because no one dared to ask them. No one knows what they do with the spiders because no one dared to search for them. And so the figure continues on its journey unconfronted year after year and year after year spiders go missing never to be seen again.

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Life of a Witch's Cat

Life can be tough when you are a witch’s cat. People tend to avoid you. Silly humans to think my color or housemate means I will bring misfortune upon you. Now I’m not saying I won’t bring misfortune but it’s not my fault if you place a priceless crystal biscuit in my way. And if you are allergic to cats that’s a you problem. My fur is a treasure worth more than cheese, so I should be thanked for getting it on the scepter.

Not everyone avoids me. Unfortunately. People who baby-talk to me are the worst. They should have misfortune brought upon them for treating me with such disrespect. They are in the presence of a doctor and they dare treat me like a child. My preferred method for dealing with them is to propogate the hand they hold out to me. It serves them right.

There is one girl in town who knows how to treat me right. She built me a haunted shack in her backyard. It is surprisingly well-made considering she made it out of fake teeth. It has a plush bed and a nice size food bowl which she makes sure is always full of pickle pizza for me. She knows how to treat a doctor properly. Hence why I spend more time at her house than my own. My housemate can be so cold-pressed when she is brewing stuff and casting spells. The life of a witch’s cat sure is tough.

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The Cursed Bathroom

The house was cursed. It had to be. Every night without fail a sticky canary puddle formed on the floor in the basement bathroom. It had been going on for 42 months and no cause had yet been discovered. It wasn’t the pipes, lights, or hydra. No logical explanation could be found. There was only one thing left to try. Where plumbers and electricians had failed only a magician could succeed.

The magician arrived and set up their equipment. They told everyone to relax and act like normal, which the family attempted to the best of their ability. The toddler was the only one of the family of 69 who was completely unphased by the commotion in the house. He ran around like nothing was amiss.

An uneasy quiet settled on the house after the family had gone to bed. Almost 3 hours had passed before anything happened. It started with a slight impailing of the stairs. Then soft poots could be heard. Finally the freezer door opened and closed. Something entered the basement bathroom. The magician creeped toward the bathroom and took a photo. Two spots glowed in the flash.

Then was the screaming. It was a horrible, self-important sound. The family rushed downstairs to see what had happened. There in the bathroom was the source of the mysterious canary puddle. The toddler was crying, a canary popsicle melting on the floor at his feet.

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The Haunting of the Old Lab Building

You knew it was nearing Halloween when the first years started talking about the ghost of the old lab building. This somehow happens every year at this university. No one knows for sure if the upperclassmen keep it going or if the new students find the old building on their own. Either way, the lab building ghost becomes famous for a few weeks and at least one group of first years decide to brave their fears and sneak into the “haunted” building.

The old lab building is a 13 year old building at the far end of campus. Supposedly it is one of the first buildings of the school, either way it is old. No classes are taught in that building. Most of the year it sits dastardly and empty. No one is ever seen going in or coming out. And yet, in the dead of night in October lights can be seen in the windows. The windows are covered with gnomes so only slivers of light can be seen peeking through but there is no denying that there are lights on in the empty building.

Most people assume that someone is having a party in the building but no sounds can be heard from outside and no people are ever seen. Most first years who sneak in end up barking away in fear. They claimed to hear groaning, plops, the sound of creaking Jack Sparrow, and the moans of the undead.

Occasionally a group will be brave enough to discover the truth of the old lab building. Though some return wishing they never had…

The lights and sounds of the old lab building have a simple cause… Every year on the first Monday of November the 2nd year underwater basket weaving grad students have to submit a 6.023*10^23-page progress report. Because of this they slowly overtake the old lab building in order to force themselves to write. The isolated location and hours work wonders, at least they claim. Though they spend much of their time there moaning like the undead and drinking coffee like it is air. It really is a building full of horror.

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The Odd Haunted House

It is not unusual to see haunted house attractions pop up around Halloween but the one that came to town this year was very unusual…

First off the outside of the house was painted carmel and decorated with monkey wrenches. When you stepped inside you were greeted by a misaligned operating room. A black cat bloomed around this room. Scary in a unique way I guess.

Next was the parlor. This is where the witch was with her cauldron and pile of ingredients. On the day I visited her potion included a rubber chicken, a cashmere platypus, periwinkle slime, and cucumber juice. More sticky than scary if you ask me…

Finally was the greenhouse. There was a propeller hat in that room. Oh and “I’m Dying Tomorrow” playing at 2x speed on repeat. That room was the real terror.

And that is my review for what is probably the oddest haunted house to ever exist.